Daniel grew up with an alcoholic dad and suffered low self-esteem and anxiety from a very early age. He was very confused by the alcoholic’s behaviour and saw the desperation in his mum as she tried to control the drinking. Dan was the youngest of 6 children and felt pressured to leave school and go to work in his mid-teens. He worked really hard but started taking anti-depressants and seeing counsellors to deal with his increasing anxiety but didn’t realize that alcoholism was the major cause.

Odette grew up in a normal family but whilst very young assumed responsibility for looking after her family members. As a child she felt both capable and responsible, seeing herself as a fixer of family problems but also fearful of making mistakes. Odette was attracted to fix Dan and after she moved in with him she noticed his self-medication and anxiety problems.  This didn’t go down well with Dan and after Odette told her story of woe to a friend they recommended she go to Al-Anon Family Groups. Group meetings helped her to understand Dan’s behaviour and that trying to control another was doomed to failure.

As Odette changed, Dan wanted to get similar benefits and read the Al-Anon literature that she left lying around the house. Dan eventually got up the courage to go to an Al-Anon meeting, was able to understand and accept his dad’s behaviour and as he began to relax found that he could think straight again.

If someone else's drinking is causing you a problem then you can phone the Al-Anon Family Groups helpline on 1300 252 666 or go online at www.al-anon.org.au.